THE EARNEST BLOG

It has been a while - 23/8/2024

The blog as it exists right now is basically a beta for when i've got a proper website running. Believe it or not this is an early phase, i wanna get this looking better and doing more stuff. Fun fact about me, I am bad at finishing things, such as websites! One of these days I will commit and get this up and running. But the half-finished state is why the only blog posts so far are a spur of the moment free form poem thing, and a bunch of incoherent waffle from a strange point in my life. Maybe it was quite normal actually. I don't like rereading stuff of that sort that I wrote. So what's going on in my life now? I'm happy, going to uni, physically put together, and playing single player games. Pretty much peak. If you're in a bad spot in life I reccomend frequent showers, holding yourself to your word, and meaningful single player games. Fixes anything [citation needed]. RN I am playing through tears of the kingdom, link to the past, and smash bros brawl (the one smash game that is definitley a singleplayer game). I also started Metroid 2 but i got my fill. I really tried to commit to beating it and pushed past where I'd usually give up, but the pre-map screen metroid games really feel like "play some, get the vibe, get into it, get out" type games. I'm gonna continue my series playthrough with the 3DS remake at some point, which I wasn't gonna do until I actually touched the gameboy original (which is suprisingly very very fun! these games have always been very good). Right now feels like an intermission. A transitional period that itself doesnt exist but marks the gap between times. But it isn't that. Every moment exists and you need to live them all, not just the major ones. Life has no intermissions, and I'm really telling myself this, not you. On the topic of the website, my plan is to make it a central host for stuff I make and notes on it, kinda like a wiki. I also might to a visual overhaul cause while it's endearing and feels like home, it really is rather garish as of now. I think I like these blog posts cause I'm writing them to no one. I don't know anyone that looks at this website, but anyone can. So it's like I'm writing them to a potential future person. If so, hi! And, bye!

The house by the field through the window that i know. - 14/3/2024

Something relatively mundane yet interesting happened and I had a writing inspiration brainwave that I felt fit this blog!

There's a house opposite my window. It's a clear view. probably the main thing i see from my room every day. And I just saw the side window open, and a head poke out to look at something. I didn't know they had a side window. Of course they have a side window, why would a whole side of their house not have any windows? and yet I hadn't seen it before. and if I wasn't looking out of the window in that fifteen second slice of time I still wouldnt know it was there. I could imagine it but I still, in thirteen years of living my life in this room, would have never seen it. for a narrow span of time I saw my crystilised, solid vision of the painting that is my window, move in a way I'd never seen. I wonder what else i miss, how many fifteen second spans I'm not there to look out for. This doesn't make me sad. I don't think I'm missing out. It makes me realise that it's not fruitless to keep looking. keep on looking for something out of life and it will pop out at you, even if you think you've seen everything time and time again and you're tiring of it. I wonder what other still images of my life will pop up and move.

FIRST ENTRY! - 12/2/2024

I thought that 2024 would be a good time to start my blog! It may or may not go updated. man does anyone do this anymore? The word itself conveys, like, 2004. No one has even said "blog" in YEARS! Except for on tumblr but that's a different context. Whatever! I just felt like writing long form for once. Maybe it'll be monthly, like a kind of "progress report" type thing? Like, here's what i was up to this month! Or just whenever.

So, how's january treated me so far? Well, I'm reminded of the song "the man with two brains", by The Rentals. Matt plays the titular role, while sharon, who i think is a guest singer not an actual member of the band, is the Girl With One Brain. The man with two brains has perfected his life, a balance where he can live however he wants, and compartmentalise it away. One for his actions, one for his consience. He lives a life of having crazy sex and has no consequences! But the girl with one brain says this makes no sense. It's all about the same thing. In january i learned not to live like the man with two brains, who believes that he can do whatever, and live different lives for different people.

NOW ENOUGH OF THE SAD SHIT! January has had a lot of fun in it too. Big month for people who like friends! Firstly, i have reconnected with various old friends and intend to do so with more! I procrastinate a lot and sometimes do that with talking to people, which then gets weird so i stop talking to them in general. But now I'm gonna not do that! Also me and one specific friend in particular had a nice january! I usually dont talk to people that often but we at least briefly talked EVERY day this month! we got up to some crazy shit it's been a pretty big month for her as well i think. TLDR friends good :D

Now what else has happened in January? I played through all of halo 2! Until like age 12 I just didnt finish video games and the amount of games i've had to catch up on meant that i also haven't replayed many, either! But i think now enough time has passed and i've gotten used to the idea of actually finishing shit instead of switching to another game whenever im struggling, that i am actually able to replay games now! And i see why people do it, there's so much you catch on a second go round. I now understand how they make them youtube videos where they find like One Trillion Things you missed in sonic 3d blast or whatever.

Another thing that happened this month is university! I went and saw it... the building... Im not gonna say which one because there are murderers and stealers on internet!! I'm not telling you where I live... And i wrote/submitted my application. hell yes. now i just gotta acutally pass college and im sorted for the next 5 years

The next thing I got up to in January was building a lego set that I got for christmas, and I'm now thinking of getting into lego as a hobby. I built the yoda starfighter, and next I'm gonna get a 2000s space set, then a bionicle, then another star wars. It's just such a fun experience of putting together and then you get this really great thing at the end that you feel you made yourself, even if it was following instructions.

Anyway, i started writing this on the 2nd, which is why its mostly about january, february hadnt really "happened" yet. And it still hasnt! because i got covid for those ten days!! literally nothing happened for dayst straight. today is the day i actually get out and go back to my life which is lovely :) im glad i have good friends and stuff to help me the disease week.

The original note I wanted to leave this off on was that the first of February, I walked out of college to see not a dark windy winter but a plain blue sky and summer heat. I felt like that, moreso than January first, was the true start of the year. a hopeful sign that things are on the up and I can get back to living. THEN the illness struck, and I felt the poetry of the moment was gone. Now, the day I return to college, the day I finish this blog post, and the day I'm feeling that I'm "back together", it's once again warm and sunny. It's like the universe coincided to give me a second chance, and I'm a fool if I don't take it. So even if you didn't get a day of sunshine that ushered in your hope for the year, let this blog post be your sunshine. Take this as your sign that the winter is through and we're ready to start for real.